One of the ads in Hotmail is a flash-scam-game called "Slap The Donald." The objective is to beat up the animated face of Donald Trump that is sliding back and forth. Why do I bring this up?

He bleeds money signs when you hit him.

MyPHPsig has been an unforseen success, to the point where it causes the server to come to a screeching hault. Apparantly mysql has trouble working with 60,000+ rows of data every couple of seconds. I am going to have to optimize the code a bit in order to make the server not beg for mercy come the end of the month when that number of hits are racked up.