Thanks to "Passionate Admirer" for letting me know my Sentry Heatmaps were fucked. Long story short, I changed some code that I shouldn't have! I have manually re-ran them and they are working properly again, and they should work during their next daily run.
I also want to take this time to say that you, dear readers, should expect to see some weirdness around here in the next few days or so. I am in the process of finishing up a migration of my websites and I have saved the best for last. I may throw up my trusty "LOL GTFO" page if things get too crazy but hopefully the transition will be relatively smooth and painless.